A Lesson from Listening

People do sometimes let themselves get into such a
state they stop believing themselves capable of anything. One client
had decided she was a thoroughly bad person because she had neglected her son, deserted her husband and alienated her whole family
when she was a heroin addict some fifteen years before. When she
told me this she spoke as if in a trance, eyes left in memories brought
into the present
“And now?” I asked.
“Well, I stopped using ten years ago.”
“Do you see your son?”
“Yes, we get along fine nowadays but I worry about him because of
what I did.”
“How is he?”
“Well he’s really healthy actually. And seems happy. And has a job
he likes and a lovely girlfriend. We get on really well.”
“What about your ex?”
“We’ve become friends. He doesn’t hold grudges.”
“Brothers? Sisters?”
“We’ve had our problems in the past but things are better now.”
“So tell me again, why, specifically, do you think you are a thoroughly
bad person?”
It was a habit she had formed, thinking about herself in that way. It
wasn’t rocket science to see it, not even therapy to help her see, just
commonsense, how she had wrapped herself in outdated thoughts.
She would never have worn outdated fashion.

© Kris Deva North
Extracted from Finding Spirit in Zen Shiatsu: NLP with a difference